It's Friday. Sex?
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
