I just pynch a tree in the face
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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