My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
