like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
