did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize
