Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Randomize
