Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
