i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
