Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
high people should be assigned attendants
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
