i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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