just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
