I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
false alarm, still single
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
