Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
