just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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