Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
