If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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