and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Ketchup is God's man juice
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
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