i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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