I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
