She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
