Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
