Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
