I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
