All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
