Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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