i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
