wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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