He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
