I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
