Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize
