Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
