Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
