i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
This is the prime rib incident all over again
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
