Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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