omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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