Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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