McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
