i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
