ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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