after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
