Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
