He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
