do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
