I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
