the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
