I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
