Yo dont text me then not text me
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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