i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
