That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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