Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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